2017-05-23 – The proof of the pudding.

I slept reasonably well last night, only waking once (around 6.30am) but falling straight back to sleep.  I’m awake again just before the alarm goes off at 7am, and I hit the snooze button a couple of times before getting up at 7.20am.  I’m feeling well rested, but I don’t know if my motivation has returned – I’m feeling that I could do stuff today, cross an item or 2 off my list, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating!  I give the dog her breakfast, make the tea and coffee and sit down to think about what I can get done.

My wife furnishes me with my Nutriblast and disappears off to her workshop in Hevingham, having asked me to prepare a receipt for one of her customers – that’s an easy win!   The 9am news comes on the radio, and the news of the terrorist attack in Manchester takes the wind from my sails.  I sit and read the news in The Metro, online, in disbelief – what a sick world we live in!

I walk the dog, and then sit in the lounge with my laptop to deal with a couple of messages that have been left on my YouTube channel, and reply to a couple of emails that have arrived overnight.  Mid-afternoon I self-medicate with cannabis (a little more than usual) to see if that will raise my mood – it doesn’t help restore my missing motivation, but it does help me to feel less stressed about it, so that can’t be a bad thing.  I create the receipt for my wife’s customer, and print it (cross that one off the list!), then take the dog for her 2nd walk of the day.  When I get back to the house, the weeds in the front garden catch my eye, so I spend half an hour pulling up weeds (and that job wasn’t even on my list!) – perhaps the cannabis has helped me after all… Finally, I vacuum downstairs and then have a quick clear up in the kitchen before my wife gets home from work.

Symptoms?  Tremor breaking through on both sides and dystonia fairly uncomfortable on my right foot (until the cannabis sorts it out).  Voice is weak and disappears a couple of times when I’m talking to the dog!  Balance is fine.  Walking is slightly wooden.  Muscular weakness and stiffness isn’t too bad.  Dyskinesia is still present, but not bothering me too much.  I don’t feel so dreadfully tired today, and I don’t have to fight off sleep (in spite of the relaxing effect of the cannabis).  Another early night is on the cards.