I still have a couple of emails from last week that I haven’t replied to – I keep meaning to do so, and then don’t. I keep trying to persuade myself that I’m okay, that I don’t have a motivation problem, but really and truly I think that I have.
I want to get on with my “DBS on/DBS off” video – I filmed quite a lot previously, but I’m really not happy with the camera angles and want to shoot it all again. I set the camera and tripod up, experiment with lighting and angles, and then take the dog for a walk (because she is pestering me).
When we get back, I have a look at the script, which I spent some time last week putting together for the video, so I can decide on the order of shots. While I’m scrolling around the script editor, I somehow manage to delete the entire script! I can’t believe it! What a careless idiot! I spend an hour or so searching around for my latest iPad backup, but it seems I haven’t backed it up since I wrote that script – so it’s just lost… A whole day’s work down the tubes.
Oh, well. I unplug all of the equipment and put it out of the way again. I decide that I’m going to sit down and write the script again after I have walked the dog (again) and got some logs in for the fire, but by the time I have done that, my wife is home – so I light the fire and save the re-scripting for another day.
We are going to Hampshire tomorrow for the funeral of my wife’s grandma, so we will be leaving here at 5am. An early night is called for!
Hello. I’m new to your emails and appreciate them very much. I’m 63 years old, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s 10 years ago, and had DBS surgery in February 2016. I’m particularly interested in your references/discussion regarding motivation. Because I have none! About the only thing that motivates me to clean my house is shame (if I’m going to be having people over I don’t want my house to be dirty). This is completely out of character for me. I always had the cleanest house of all my friends. I commend you for the dog walking, vacuuming and bringing in fire logs. Great accomplishment as far as I’m concerned.
Hi Myrna
Thanks for your comment. Motivation is a bugger, isn’t it? I find it ebbs and flows, and at the moment it is pretty close to zero. I know that it has been affected by my DBS settings before, so I will mention it to them next time I go back for re-programming! It also seems to be related to energy levels, so if I have a particularly long/hard day (like yesterday was for me) then it is worse.
Cheers,
Ian