I’m on a bit of a downer today. Not sure why, but I just am. I think it is all down to the settings on my neurostimulator. The settings that I am currently on (Group ‘A’) are my monosyllabic settings (so my wife says) – I neither make conversation or respond to conversational attempts made by her. I just grunt or say “yes” or “no”. They definitely make me feel less motivated, less energetic. They are no longer so effective at calming my tremor as they were a coupe of weeks ago, and the dystonia in my right foot is very uncomfortable this morning. I feel that the Group ‘B’ settings are accentuating other aspects of my mood – a minor irritation becomes unreasonable rage, minor excitement becomes impulsive behaviour – so I’m holding off changing them over at the moment.
The morning dog walk makes me feel a little better, gets me out of the house, gets me moving. My wife is having a day of listing some of our unwanted items on eBay – a task that takes more time than you would credit. She also works a minor miracle in the back garden, clearing a patch of weeds, nettles and general debris. I sit in the lounge and do very little.
Time for the afternoon dog walk, and I suggest that my wife comes along with us, so we set off for a walk around the village – a change from the usual run in the field by the village hall. As we walk out the front door I change my device settings over to Group ‘B’ because my tremor and dystonia are driving me up the wall. My walking isn’t great today (I ask my wife to watch me walking, and she agrees that I’m not walking too well) and my voice is also very weak and husky. I will have to speak to the Parkinson’s nurse about some speech therapy. I can just imagine how frustrating it would be if I can’t make myself understood. When we get back home I change back to Group ‘A’ settings because I don’t feel any better than before, and I don’t want to risk dyskinesia if there’s no benefit to be had.
I make dinner for once. A very simple meal that doesn’t require me to use a sharp knife – chicken fried rice. That’s my achievement for the day!
Sorry to read that you had an off day yesterday……does that happen often?
It happens quite a lot at the moment, but I suspect it is to do with getting the settings right on my neurostimulator. I am struggling with motivation at the moment, which is a bit of a bummer, but I’m hoping it won’t be that way indefinitely. If it were a trade of motivation for tremor, then I’d accept the lack of motivation every time.