A better day today, in that I manage to keep my emotions in check. I start off by creating a music CD for my wife’s youngest son and his fiancee, to be played at their wedding ceremony next Wednesday. It was preying on my mind a little, because I’m so busy making all the arrangements for my mum’s funeral next Monday, so I’m really glad that it’s done and ticked off my list of things to do!
I send the first draft of the eulogy that I have written to the lady who is officiating at mum’s funeral, along with the poems that we have chosen and a passage from “Under Milk Wood” that my elder brother suggested. I also email my elder brother an example of an “order of service” to look at – he’s a graphic designer and has offered to design the order of service for me to print out.
I speak to a florist and order a beautiful sheaf of white lilies and roses for the top of mum’s coffin.
I take a break, and walk around a very wet and muddy field with the dog, and then split a few logs, fill the log basket and light the woodburner because I’m feeling chilly (even though it’s really not that cold).
I pop over the road to The Vernon Arms to confirm the menu and number of guests for the wake on Monday afternoon, and then I sit down and try to write out the content of the order of service so that I can send my brother something to be going on with by the time we go to bed (he’s in Nova Scotia, so several hours behind the UK).
My voice is dreadful at the moment – husky, slurred and strangling my words. My tremor (left leg) is also driving me mad, and dystonia (right foot) is also putting in an appearance. It’s likely that this is as consequence of the stress of the last couple of weeks, rather than any failure of my DBS to control my symptoms, so I don’t fiddle with the settings just now. I rely on a little cannabis to help me out (which it does).