I go to Stalham today (after walking the dog), to sit with my mum. She has advanced Parkinson’s, has been semi-comatose for a number of days, and now appears to be giving up the fight for life. I can’t say I blame her, really. She has had a hard few years, with Parkinson’s taking not only her ability to do the simple things in life that gave her so much pleasure (leaving her unable to walk the half mile into town, or tend the vegetable patch in the back garden), but also her dignity and her will to live. She said to me recently, when she was having a particularly bad day, “It’s not worth going on, is it?”, and I found myself unable to disagree with her.
Yesterday, mum was aware that I was there – she reacted to my voice, she opened her eyes and saw me. Today she just appeared to be asleep all the time that I was there – there was no reaction when I spoke to her or held her hand. It’s very hard to sit and watch someone that you love fade away before your eyes.
To those people who have reached out to me with messages of support (you know who you are), I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your kind words.